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I maintain the conviction that it is forever an option to evolve. My view is you truly can teach an old dog new tricks, provided that the old dog is receptive and ready for growth. As long as the person is ready to confess when it was wrong, and endeavor to transform into a better dog.

Alright, I confess, I am the old dog. And the lesson I am working to acquire, although I am set in my ways? It is an significant challenge, something I have struggled with, repeatedly, for my all my days. My ongoing effort … to develop a calmer response toward huntsman spiders. Apologies to all the different eight-legged creatures that exist; I have to be realistic about my possible growth as a human. The target inevitably is the huntsman because it is sizeable, commanding, and the one I run into regularly. This includes on three separate occasions in the previous seven days. Within my dwelling. I'm not visible to you, but a shudder runs through me with discomfort as I type.

It's unlikely I’ll ever reach “enthusiast” status, but I’ve been working on at least becoming Normal about them.

An intense phobia regarding spiders dating back to my youth (in contrast to other children who find them delightful). In my formative years, I had ample brothers around to guarantee I never had to confront any personally, but I still panicked if one was visibly in the same room as me. Vividly, I recall of one morning when I was eight, my family unconscious, and trying to deal with a spider that had made its way onto the living room surface. I “dealt” with it by positioning myself at a great distance, nearly crossing the threshold (lest it chased me), and spraying half a bottle of bug repellent toward it. The chemical cloud missed the spider, but it did reach and irritate everyone in my house.

With the passage of time, my romantic partner at the time or living with was, as a matter of course, the least afraid of spiders out of the two of us, and therefore responsible for handling the situation, while I emitted low keening sounds and ran away. If I was on my own, my method was simply to vacate the area, turn off the light and try to ignore its being before I had to re-enter.

Not long ago, I stayed at a pal's residence where there was a very large huntsman who resided within the window frame, for the most part lingering. In order to be less fearful, I envisioned the spider as a female entity, a gal, one of us, just relaxing in the sun and listening to us gab. It sounds quite foolish, but it worked (somewhat). Alternatively, the deliberate resolution to become more fearless worked.

Whatever the case, I've endeavored to maintain this practice. I reflect upon all the sensible justifications not to be scared. It is a fact that huntsman spiders won’t harm me. I recognize they eat things like buzzing nuisances (the bane of my existence). I know they are one of the planet's marvelous, benign creatures.

Alas, they do continue to scuttle like that. They move in the most terrifying and somehow offensive way possible. The appearance of their numerous appendages propelling them at that terrible speed causes my ancient psyche to enter panic mode. They are said to only have eight legs, but I believe that increases exponentially when they get going.

However it cannot be blamed on them that they have unnerving limbs, and they have just as much right to be where I am – possibly a greater claim. I have discovered that taking the steps of making an effort to avoid instantly leap out of my body and flee when I see one, attempting to stay composed and breathing steadily, and consciously focusing about their positive qualities, has proven somewhat effective.

Just because they are fuzzy entities that scuttle about at an alarming rate in a way that invades my dreams, is no reason for they deserve my hatred, or my high-pitched vocalizations. It is possible to acknowledge when I’ve been wrong and motivated by unfounded fear. It is uncertain I’ll ever make it to the “catching one in a Tupperware container and taking it outside” phase, but miracles happen. Some life is left within this seasoned learner yet.