🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought filming a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?